Laughing Matters (week of Feb. 13)
Feb 13, 2012, noon
Lil’ Bill
Submitted by Renae Gustine
Bill’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw photos tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a photo and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
“Yes,” said one of the policemen. “The detectives want very badly to capture him.”
Bill asked, “Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”
Deporting seniors
Submitted by Karl and Ruth St. George
To help save this economy, the government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegal immigrants) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home. I started to cry when I thought of you. Then it dawned on me… oh shoot! I’ll see you on the bus.
Sunday paper
Submitted by William Reau
An irate elderly lady called the newspaper office, loudly demanding to know where her Sunday paper was.
“Madam,” the newspaper receptionist said. “Today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday.”
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as the elderly woman muttered, “Well, darn. That explains why no one was at church either.”
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